Friday, August 05, 2005
Leading Men - what our families crave.
I am skeptical of politicians.
Sometimes critical of public figures.
Cynical about religious figures.
Wonder where the real men are? Leaders who might be worth following?
God says that if a man cannot lead his own family, he is not allowed to lead as an elder in the church (1 Timothy 3:5). Real leadership starts at home.
But what makes a husband or father a godly leader?
The Leadership Vacuum
Many families have experienced the opposite.
The man might be a leader, but he “leads” with his “absence” - silently telling his wife that she doesn’t matter. Always doing his own thing.
He “leads” by authority, seeking to dominate and control his family, abusing his strength.
He “leads” by default, reproducing the non-verbal, “strong, silent” model of his father, insensitive to the needs, cares, and desires of his own, unique family.
For better or for worse, you are leading by your example.
The Heart of Spiritual Leaders
The Apostle Paul challenges husbands to lead and love their wives just like Christ himself loves - and sacrificed himself for - the church (Ephesians 5:22-33).
Yeah, that’s what great leadership looks like.
He was unselfish. Willing to sacrifice. Standing up for what is right. Giving everything for the ones He loves. Considering God’s desires above his own personal will. To his last breath, communicating his love - “Father forgive them...”
The greatest spiritual leader of all time was a strong, expressive, committed, sacrificial, loving, and compassionate servant.
Where do we begin?
After looking at Christ, I feel pretty inadequate. In fact, how many of us husbands and fathers realize the tremendous privilege and impact we have before us? To at least get the ball rolling...
(1) Commit to your own spiritual growth – If you are not fully-alive and growing in your faith, how can you influence others in the right direction? Is the Bible just another book? Is prayer less than real to you? Is church life a nuisance for you?
For your own life and for your family, I urge you to pursue God like you never have before! God can change your life, empower your heart, and use you to lead your family in ways that you cannot imagine. Let Christ be your leader!
(2) Get to really know your family – Too tired to listen to your wife? What happened to the best friend and lifelong companion you said those vows to?
Keep “dating”! Pursue time away together. Take family vacations, even if you’re just doing shopping. You are a true hero when you make time to bond, have fun, and communicate with the ones you say you love.
(3) Choose to accept your leadership responsibility – Like it or not, you’re a leader. You get to decide if you will accept this wonderful opportunity to influence your family for good, and leave a legacy that they will want to share with others. Unfortunately, many men forfeit the responsibility that comes with their families, and have no idea of the damage they cause.
Will you choose to be the best husband and father you could possibly be?
(4) Realize the consequences of your leadership – Like anything in life, your choice has consequences. A terrible leader will lead his wife toward hatred, resentment, and heartbreak. A God-honoring leader might discover what it is like to have a thriving, cherished, and unselfish wife as a result!
While it’s almost cool to criticize leaders in the news or on TV, it’s the lack of leadership in the family that has the greatest influence. What kind of leading man are you?
Sometimes critical of public figures.
Cynical about religious figures.
Wonder where the real men are? Leaders who might be worth following?
God says that if a man cannot lead his own family, he is not allowed to lead as an elder in the church (1 Timothy 3:5). Real leadership starts at home.
But what makes a husband or father a godly leader?
The Leadership Vacuum
Many families have experienced the opposite.
The man might be a leader, but he “leads” with his “absence” - silently telling his wife that she doesn’t matter. Always doing his own thing.
He “leads” by authority, seeking to dominate and control his family, abusing his strength.
He “leads” by default, reproducing the non-verbal, “strong, silent” model of his father, insensitive to the needs, cares, and desires of his own, unique family.
For better or for worse, you are leading by your example.
The Heart of Spiritual Leaders
The Apostle Paul challenges husbands to lead and love their wives just like Christ himself loves - and sacrificed himself for - the church (Ephesians 5:22-33).
Yeah, that’s what great leadership looks like.
He was unselfish. Willing to sacrifice. Standing up for what is right. Giving everything for the ones He loves. Considering God’s desires above his own personal will. To his last breath, communicating his love - “Father forgive them...”
The greatest spiritual leader of all time was a strong, expressive, committed, sacrificial, loving, and compassionate servant.
Where do we begin?
After looking at Christ, I feel pretty inadequate. In fact, how many of us husbands and fathers realize the tremendous privilege and impact we have before us? To at least get the ball rolling...
(1) Commit to your own spiritual growth – If you are not fully-alive and growing in your faith, how can you influence others in the right direction? Is the Bible just another book? Is prayer less than real to you? Is church life a nuisance for you?
For your own life and for your family, I urge you to pursue God like you never have before! God can change your life, empower your heart, and use you to lead your family in ways that you cannot imagine. Let Christ be your leader!
(2) Get to really know your family – Too tired to listen to your wife? What happened to the best friend and lifelong companion you said those vows to?
Keep “dating”! Pursue time away together. Take family vacations, even if you’re just doing shopping. You are a true hero when you make time to bond, have fun, and communicate with the ones you say you love.
(3) Choose to accept your leadership responsibility – Like it or not, you’re a leader. You get to decide if you will accept this wonderful opportunity to influence your family for good, and leave a legacy that they will want to share with others. Unfortunately, many men forfeit the responsibility that comes with their families, and have no idea of the damage they cause.
Will you choose to be the best husband and father you could possibly be?
(4) Realize the consequences of your leadership – Like anything in life, your choice has consequences. A terrible leader will lead his wife toward hatred, resentment, and heartbreak. A God-honoring leader might discover what it is like to have a thriving, cherished, and unselfish wife as a result!
While it’s almost cool to criticize leaders in the news or on TV, it’s the lack of leadership in the family that has the greatest influence. What kind of leading man are you?
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